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My Life as a Male Sex Toy Blogger.

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AskMen UK originally published this article. The writer, known as “Ruffled sheets,” is a male blogger who works in London and is in his 30s. Since 2005, he has been reviewing male sex toys on his blog. He is one of the most popular male bloggers reviewing the latest products for the adult market. Below is his diary, which he shares with AskMen. It’s not your average 9-5.

My alarm goes off at 6:01 am. Because I have two jobs Monday through Friday, my days can belong. My secret working life is something that most of my friends are unaware of. It includes what I do after work. My day job is to coach software development teams. At night, I write about male pleasure and sex, reviewing and trying the best sex toys and products for men.

Ruffledsheets.com is the blog that I have been running for more than five years. After reading several sites that reviewed sex toys from a male perspective, I decided to start it. While sex toys are more popular for women, there is still stigma attached to males. I tried to make sex toys more acceptable for men and help them choose safe, fun products.

Get up and smell the… chastity gadget.

I check Twitter and other emails on my phone every morning when I get up. After I have regained enough energy to get out of bed, I go in the shower. My other half recently rearranged my bedroom so that she can see me in the en-suite. Before my day even begins, sex is always on my mind.

Being watched is a positive thing. It usually means that I do a lot more in the shower than necessary. Showering is awkward because I am currently in a chastity box for a review.

I enjoy wearing or trying out whatever I wear for at least two weeks before writing about it. It’s a metal cage made by me that secures my penis and testicles.

This isn’t my first venture into chastity. As a blogger and sex blogger, I have tried many things and found them enjoyable. Today’s topic is a chastity gadget, but you could use anything, from cock rings to buttplugs to urethral sound (don’t Google this if you are queasy), to electro sex toys (yes, that’s sex toys in which electricity can pass through nerve cells creating pulsing and almost vibrating sensations) to bondage equipment.

I have probably tried it all. You can try many things that you might not think of buying, and sometimes, with chastity products, you integrate them into your sex life.

Except for the chastity belt, I look just like everyone else heading to work. On most days, I wear a business suit, with a tailored shirt and tie, belt, and smart shoes. I have a variety of accessories and garments that can be mixed and matched in my work wardrobe. Today is a day like today, so I need to be extra careful to ensure my latest testing project is not visible.

After getting dressed, I feed the cats while making tea for my other half. I say goodbye to her, and she holds the keys of my chastity machine in front of me for a quick tease before heading off to work. She doesn’t help me focus…

Not your average commute

I will drive to the station. I will put the roof down and listen to Radio 4 or music if it’s nice. If I’m still asleep, it’s Korn or Megadeth to get me awake. I take the 7:00 am trained to grab some food and a cup of coffee. After commuting in the standard for over a decade, I switched to first-class a few years back. Although it was more expensive, I felt refreshed upon my arrival in London. I used to feel stressed.

My train ride takes about 45 minutes, so I will bring my laptop along and work on my blog posts. I have to be careful if I’m working with explicit text and images (a common occurrence). There can be some screen switching when people pass, but so far, I feel lucky.

The 9-5

I’m not too fond of the tube so I take the train to work. It doesn’t matter if it takes me 30 minutes, but I prefer to get some exercise and fresh air than be confined in a small train that I can’t stand on my own. My’regular work’ takes up most of my time. My day is split between teaching and writing code.

It’s lunchtime, and I’m meeting ElectraStim for dinner — this is not part of my day job. ElectraStim makes electro-sex toys. This is something that I was interested in after having used a TENs machine to recover my muscles. They have a new line of electro butt plugs that they want me to test. I’ve used their products for several years. They don’t seem to notice my chastity bulge, but they are polite enough not to mention it. However, they notice my Batman cufflinks and discover that we are both big fans.

After a few more hours, it’s time for me to go home. It takes a lot of agility to fit my blog work around my day job. I do a lot of writing on the commute, test toys while sitting at my desk, and schedule meetings with sex companies during my lunch break. It’s a full-time job, but it’s very fulfilling.

Night shift

After a while, once I get home, I’m ready for training. My garage has an Olympic bench, squat stand, and hex bar. It also contains a complete set of dumbbells, barbells, and dumbbells (with weights). After another awkward shower and a protein milkshake, I was back at the computer. This is the first time I can concentrate without worrying about who is walking by.

I have some new sounds in my urethral system, some butt plugs, and a stroker that I need to review. I get them out, lay them on the table, and plan my photos. It’s a sunny evening, so I want to make the most of it. My most difficult task in reviewing sex toys is taking good photos.

Many bloggers post average photos. My photos should stand out, so I spend lots of time working on them. Each review requires me to take several photos. I usually take a few close-ups and something different like an outside photo. Finally, if possible, I will hold the toy. My reviews tend to be more popular if there are more photos of me.

The stroker (a cylinder you use to put your penis through) is not possible at the moment due to another product I am reviewing. However, I can test the plugs, so I leave one (with some lube) for tomorrow at work.

It takes a lot of time to review butt plugs. They are comfortable enough to wear throughout the day. I also like to use them for masturbation and sex. Secretly, I am looking forward to reviewing this cock ring. I have always tried them during sex. My last orgasm was a few weeks ago, so I’m looking forward to my next one with the cock rings.

But I don’t think about it too much and get back to shooting my photos. I love taking photos of toys that are alcoholic or coffee-based. So I make a double espresso and then start snapping in my kitchen.

After I’m done, all my toys are put away, and I can relax in the living area. My other half has been absent, so I sit down with her and watch a movie together. At 11:15, I go to bed. I go to bed at 11.

I have found that photographing the toys makes me want to play with them more despite my best efforts. I cannot wait for my partner to unlock me to all try them out. We wait until we have enough toys to dedicate an entire evening to them. Our evenings are filled with laughter and sex. Sometimes, both, if the toys seem a bit strange.

However, tonight the toys have gone, the lights are out, and the chastity system remains locked.

CarleneVolk

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